By: Daniel Wilkins
As mentioned in Part 1…
“I didn’t feel like waiting for Mike Trout to tear his rotator cuff while getting a haircut, or otherwise waiting for a “weird injury” opportunity to write this”.
Well, I got my wish, didn’t I?
As of March 10, 2019, it’s been 11 days since the first part of Weirdest Baseball Injuries was posted. Now, I didn’t think that another unusual injury would occur for a while, so that would give me more time to figure out what to do in part 2. But, here we are. Since there are injuries on the table that might make you question the human body, let’s not waste any more time. Here are some more examples of some of the most obscure, unlikely, and downright confusing injuries in baseball’s long history.
Cooking the crustacean (2019)
Spring Training is far from over, and we already have an injury for the ages.
Dodgers relief pitcher Joe Kelly obtained a back injury after standing in a kitchen for 5 hours, cooking a crawfish boil. Because this is not the Food Network and I am not a cooking expert, I’ll simply say that a crawfish boil is a Cajun-style dish with crayfish, a lot of garlic, and artichokes.
While it’s not my cup of tea, it apparently was for the Dodgers, as Kelly was tasked with cooking the dish for a team dinner. This, in turn, gave Kelly a back injury and he missed 3 days of team workouts. After a 30-pitch bullpen session on Friday, Joe has declared himself “fine” and will return to ST action in a few days.
Pollen problems (2004)
All humans sneeze, and some might sneeze more, possibly due to allergies. When the sneezing gets excessive, that’s when things can get dangerous.
Cubs outfielder and 600 HR club member Sammy Sosa was proven as a human when, before a game in 2004, he sneezed (very) hard twice while in the dugout. The Cubs were versing the SD Padres that day, and Sosa had to miss the game.
The injury Sosa obtained from sneezing too hard was back spasms, which was the reason why he missed the game. Don’t feel bad for Sosa, though, as the Cubs went on to win 4-2.
The cream pie disaster (2010)
You’d think that if you just won Rookie of the Year and you’re getting a lot of attention regarding your MLB future, you wouldn’t go out and do something stupid.
If your name is Chris Coghlan, that thought would’ve never crossed your mind. After a walk-off win for the Florida Marlins on July 25, 2010, Coghlan went up to pie his teammate, Wes Helms following his game-winning triple. It could’ve been all fun and games, but Coghlan noticed his knee was tweaked and got an MRI. His MRI revealed a torn meniscus, and that would be the start to an injury-riddled career that could’ve been a lot more hopeful.
Harmful DVDs (2001)
Disclaimer: this story does not involve a DVD disk being used as a throwing star.
Adam Eaton (Padres pitcher, not Nats outfielder) once had to miss a start in 2001 after being stabbed in the stomach. Don’t fear, this was not a hate crime from an NL West fan, this was an accident caused by attempting to cut the shrinkwrap from a new DVD. He was apparently using an extra-sharp knife and ended up stabbing himself in the stomach.
I really wanted that DVD he opened to be Shrek.
Umm, chili juice? (unknown year from 1991-96)
Former Expos, Marlins, O’s and Cubs infielder Bret Barberie had a food-related injury that will make you be careful at your next trip to Chipotle.
While this injury is very much “alleged” and not confirmed by any source (not even Barberie), it’s still a fun story to tell and gets a few chuckles from readers. During his career at some point, Barberie missed a game because he accidentally rubbed chili juice in his eyes. I only have one question:
How do you accidentally rub chili juice in your eyes? It’s not like it was Tabasco-spiked eye drops.
Sunny days, burnt face (2002)
If you want a tan, just do it naturally at the beach.
With the Orioles at the time, outfielder Marty Cordova went to get himself a tan. He was reportedly “frustrated by how pale he was becoming”. However, if you have an occupation that robs you of most of your sleep, it’s not surprising that you’ll have impromptu naps every once in a while.
Cordova had that nap at the worst time possible. That’s right, Marty Cordova fell asleep in the tanning bed. His face was so burnt that he was advised to stay in the shade (and out of the sun) for about a week. Cordova was benched for one game, then he was the DH in the next game. The problem? That next game was a day game with clear, sunny skies.